Due to the lack of everything from our recent move, I loaded up all 7 kids in the car and headed to the store today. We were in need of a bunch of stuff. Of course the kids got wild and restless. Shopping for 2 hours isn't that exciting, so they felt the need to create their own excitement. Needless I came home disgruntled, with 4 grounded kids, a bunch of stuff I had forgot, a bunch of stuff I didn't want (but what covertly put into the cart by the kids) and feeling like a freak show due to all the people staring at me and my many children. And most of all I felt guilty. Guilty that I hadn't been a better example of righteous happy motherhood. I kept thinking the whole time of Julie B. Beck and her powerful talks about being a positive example of motherhood to the world, and that I wasn't doing a very good job. Now that we are no longer in Utah and we live in a place of a lot more non LDS people, I keenly feel the importance of demonstrating our values and beliefs concerning families and motherhood. I felt today that somehow I had let Sister Beck down. Being a mother is so stinkin hard and being a happy mother is sometimes harder. I realized a lot today the need I have to work on that. I need to study, pray, and ponder about my vital role as a motherhood and as an example to the world on that, so on days like this it is easier to fufill that role in a way that's pleasing to me and to our Father in Heaven. So I can be as it says in Psalms 113 "...a joyful mother of children."
